“I think you’ve let this novel consume you.”
When my girlfriend said this to me and I only half reacted because the other half of me was thinking about my novel, I realised it had. I have neglected friends, family and life because all I have thought about for the last month and a half is Faces of a Small City.
Do I think this is bad? Not really. There are friends who I feel I should’ve seen or spoken to more and I feel guilty about that, especially one who just recently had a baby and another who is sorting out a wedding in the new year. But I needed to be 100% in Faces to achieve it. Also during this period my granddad died and I’ve been busy at work.
This past month has been difficult and yesterday it caught up with me when I was out doing some Christmas shopping (something else I have neglected) and I could not go on. I felt light headed, tired and in need of rest so spent the rest of the day in bed.
And now that Faces of a Small City is released I am not as satisfied as I thought I’d be. Probably because I am still not sure what the hard copy will come out as. But then, I am so exasperated that I hardly care what it looks like any more. As long as people like the story, that’s all that matters, right? I hope you are nodding.
Earlier this week I said I’m never doing this again. I lied. I have to do this again. I will probably do it differently but I can use what I learnt this time around to hopefully make it easier for myself. What will be will be. The book is out now and I have to just accept how it is. Technology is out of our hands more than we know. Now comes the next challenge, getting it read. The mountain is still not climbed.
Maybe that is why I am not yet satisfied. All I really am sure of is that this novel can’t just consume me. It must swallow me whole!